Posts Tagged ‘global war’

Jessica Simpson, blog commenters, confused about many things

February 28, 2008

There are several layers to this one. Think of it as a delicious pyramid-shaped cupcake of stupid.

1. Jessica Simpson is going to perform for the troops.
2. In Kuwait.
3. This is her statement on the matter:

It’s truly an honor to perform for the troops. Through Operation MySpace, I get to serve my country by doing what I love to do in front of thousands of brave men in uniform. It’s every girl’s dream!

4. Gossip blog commenters get in a fight about this. Is she a horrible person for making the troops – already in such danger! – suffer through her singing? Or an American hero for risking her own safety to entertain?

The Smooter Report posits a third, no-danger-to-anyone option:

The Smooter Report also submits that Jessica Simpson is going to be super-disappointed to get to Kuwait and realize that instead of hordes of hot, violent infantry guys, it’s lady mechanics and National Guard line cooks AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE.

So a prince and a bunch of actual soldiers walk into a bar…

February 28, 2008

That Prince Harry kid is serving a tour of duty with the British Army in Afghanistan. Have you heard about this? It was being kept a secret, so he could play at being macho without, you know, ENDANGERING people, but alas. Your secret is out, sir!


HRH WINNING HEARTS AND MINDS, HAVING BLOODY BRILLIANT TIME

In some cave somewhere, a Taliban dude is all “FIRE UP THE MULE! Allah has granted us a glorious PR opportunity!”