Posts Tagged ‘jason segel’

At some point this tide has to turn. Right?

February 29, 2008

Do you watch How I Met Your Mother? (Probably not, or it wouldn’t be constantly on the bubble.) That one tall guy, the guy who, in Knocked Up said that gynecology was just a hobby of his, is Judd Apatow’s new protege:

From Variety:

Judd Apatow has set up the comedy “Five-Year Engagement” at Universal Pictures.

Project, which Apatow will produce with Shauna Robertson*, reteams the studio with the duo behind the upcoming laffer “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”: writer-director Nick Stoller and writer-star Jason Segel.

Story, described as a bawdy, couples comedy, charts the five-year engagement of a man (Segel)** and his fiancee***, following the ups and downs of their relationship.

“It’s definitely an extension of our desire to explore the depth of human misery****,” Stoller said.

*Dating Edward Norton. What do they find to talk about? “Oh, honey. I just finished another serious drama that plumbs the depths of my acting skills. And I did a polish on HULK. Added some philosophy. How was your day?” “We shot a really terrific scene involving sperm accidentally getting in someone’s soup. So totally hilarious!”

**This is Jason Segel:

I’m sure he’s a really nice guy. In the movie, I predict that his character will inexplicably be paired up with, say,

***Jessica Alba:

No one in the movie’s universe will ever comment on how unlikely this is. Jason Segel’s character will be really torn about settling down. WHAT IF HE CAN DO BETTER? WHAT IF THERE ARE OTHER WOMEN OUT THERE WHO WOULD LIKE TO FUCK HIM??????

****Jessica Alba’s character will be shrill, nagging, and humorless. None of her girlfriends will ever look at her fiance doubtfully and go “…really? That guy?”

In the end, Jason Segel’s character will reluctantly man up and marry his girlfriend. Some older male will give him a talking-to about how, sure, marriage basically sucks (you can’t fuck ANYONE BUT YOUR WIFE! Do you know how HARD that is????) but you have to throw women a bone every now and then. It’s the manly thing to do. And Jason Segel is nothing if not manly.